Amanda

Well, we finally have the official word:  Wil got into Sewanee Seminary and we will be moving to Tenessee in July. I am so very excitied for Wil.  This is his dream to be a Priest and he is finally taking the major steps towards that happening.  I guess my dream right now is to support Wil and be a Priest’s wife.  I plan to change some of the stereotypes associated with my duty.  From the beginning of Wil and I’s time together, I knew this was going to be my future if I married Wil.  He is worth every sacrifice I will have to make for this move.  I don’t know what I will do with myself up in Sewanee but something less stressful then teaching would be great and eventually I think I would like to go back to school and find my own dream to follow.  ALso Sewanee has great hiking trails, a kick booty gym I can use free of charge and is not too far from Nashville, Bermingham and Chatanooga so lots of exploring to do. Having a family fits in there somewhere, I just don’t know where yet.

A weight has been lifted off our shoulders.  We’ve made our decision and actually were blessed with acceptance from Sewanee.  Yeah us!

Spring hath sprung here in BM, NC.  I love that the abreviation for my town is BM (giggle).  The flowers are blooming, the birds are chirping and the threat of a snake sighting looms.  My spring break is two weeks away and I can hardly wait.  You’ve probably heard that spring break and summer are the two reasons to be a teacher but honestly, it spoils me.  I plan to not be a teacher my whole life and I feel maybe I am getting false hopes about my future routine.  Seriously, teachers deserve summer breaks but I think most jobs deserve a good couple of weeks off and the thought of having a job that doesn’t buy into this is mad.

How do you people do it?  Work for weeks with no breaks or snow days or sick days they can use or big long 9 week breaks?

By-the-way:  thanks Joanna for my card and Wil and I have decided on Sewanee for seminary now we have to wait till Sewanee decides on us!

So, I just got home from the new Hooka bar in Asheville and my dog, Sylus, was all acting funny when I came in the door. (By the way, found out my friend Sarah does not like the word poop and freaks out when people say it which is aweome…anyway, back to my dog) I come to realize (due to the wrappers on the floor) that he has managed to eat an entire candy bar that I accidently left in my shopping bags that are sitting on the couch from my "day o’ birthday cash" shopping spree.  He may be in serious trouble but I am just going to have to keep an eye on him.  This isn’t the first time he has gorged himself with chocolate because smart me  hid a present for Wil in my closet and Sylus got that candy and ate it too.  I heard chocolate is really bad for dogs and that it can kill them so I am really worried right now.  On top of that, I had the weirdest night last night.  My friends and I had game night and played this great game called Apples to Apples.  Well, my friend Sarah invited some of her work friends which is usually cool.  Not this time.  There ended up being a major fight between Sarah’s friends, Sarah, and Sarah’s husband.  It was so immature, I couldn’t even believe it.  The girls were apologizing to me because it was my after birthday party and I didn’t even know what to say because I have never been around people who fight with each other over stupid shit.   

So, now I am home by myself because Wil is at a youth lock in and I keep hearing shit.  It is totally wiggin me out.  Marcy, do you remember the time we were talking on the phone and I heard something drop up stairs in my house in Oteen and run across the floor so I had you call my neighbor and she totally came over and was like "I have a gun" which she didn’t and I went to her house.  That’s how I feel right now.  I have kids in my neighborhood that know me from school and I can see them totally fuckin with me which has made me go and put on my new shirt I bought today that has two people with a zoom camera on it with the words,"Neighborhood watch:  We’ll get you sucka’s"  Some how it makes me feel stronger.

I have, in the past, been skeptical of religion.  I always felt that spirituality was true but never religion.

I visited an old friend Saturday night and he talked with me about his relationship with a girl he plans to marry.  He just oozed with joy.  He talked of faith and God and I couldn’t help but listen. 

I will never believe that people who don’t believe what I believe are wrong.  I can only offer experiences I’ve had and what I know to be true.

I did morning prayer this morning.  Never before has this happened.  Usually, the only time I think of praying is at night, right before I go to bed but this mroning was different. 

My day went smoother because I wanted it to.  I had the words I said imprinted somewhere in my head.  It is truly comforting and satisfying to just know simple statements to be true.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."  John1:5

It reminds me of things I used to be, things I aspire to, and things I want to become.  My mind becomes a place of comfort instead of a place of confusion     anger        stubborness       grief       lonliness       self-doubt       It’s direction known.

Throughout my day, the morning ritual breathed on my neck, just slightly reminding me and delighting me.

Every time I started to forget, somehow I remembered.

Can every day feel like this?  Maybe if I do my mornng prayer.

This past weekend, Wil and I visited Sewanee Seminary in Tennessee.  It was so beautiful and peaceful and we’ve decided that if we have our choice of schools, we will be going there.  On sunday, we went to Chatanooga.  It was a very cool town with anything we could need on the weekends.  As I was walking down the street, it got chilly so I put on my coat that Wil gave me for my birthday.  My new coat is Mountain Hardware brand, bright green and a little fuzzy, almost muppet like and I had a red shirt on so I looked holiday happy and then I had a black skirt on from church.  I also put on some white sunglasses that I got for a $1 at a thrift store.  As I was putting on all this stuff, we passed this "harley davidson" chick who was laughing hysterically.  Her and her man were not talking before she started laughing.  As she passes me laughing, I think, "She’s not laughing at me is she?" and I turn around and sure enough, she is pointing at me and still laughing.  I was dumb founded and a little hurt.  Who does this?  I usually don’t care a whole lot about what other people think but when they are pointing and laughing, I can’t help but notice.  It made me want to turn around and say, "Hey you, Biker Babe, bring it with your tappered jeans, black shirt, and cigeratte encrusted teeth.."  I finally let it go one block later but it reminded me that people actually ARE that shallow. 

Well, besides that and the 5 hour drive back at 8pm until 1am with me having to go to work the next day, it was an awesome trip. 

I turn 27 tomorrow and I must say, it feels like a big birthday for me.  26 was nothin, I barely flinched but 27 just sounds so much more mature and older.  My mom was concieving my brother at this age (ewww) and it isn’t far from 30.

I just want to go shopping, figure out how to choose a concealer, and eat fried food which I can’t because I gave it up for lent.  I am looking forward to my new year and plan to be better then ever….green muppet jacket and all.

About three weks ago, I got a crazy notion to try running as a form of exercise.  This thought was ground breaking since every time I had ever ran before was hideous and for very short distances.  So, I did what anyone would do starting a new hobby that will make them be better people and I went shopping ……. for running stretch pants.  I found a great pair and bought a size large after holding them up to me and realizing I didn’t want them so skin tight that I was embarassed for my butt to be seen in them. 

After returning home and waiting another day to start my hobby, it was time to wear the pants.  I easily slipped them (my first clue) on and started to gear up for the cold.  As I was gearing up, I thought to myself, "Man, these pants are awesome and comfortable and my butt looks pretty good."  So, with my new found confidence I left the house with my dog at my side and my mp3 player in my pocket.  We were off but so were my pants!  They were way too big for the up and down motion of running.  Now I had one hand on my pants and the other on my dog’s leash.  Then, my dog started to slag behind, further and further until I was dragging him along.  I have to give him credit though, he’s got little legs and running with me, he does 10 times the work.  So, I made it through a good piece running and finally gave up and walked home.

That was three weeks ago.  Now I have returned the pants and exchanged sizes, I don’t take Sylus, and the hideousness is getting a bit better.  It is amazing how your body adapts and you can go further and further each time.  Maybe I will eventually love running but for now, it’s a great excuse to go get a massage!

I’m just going to say it:  I love Madonna.  I haven’t always loved Madonna.  After her Ray of Light phase I made fun of her for her fake accent and children book writing but I have come to realize that for a 40+ year old she is really amazing. Her new song is great (in my opinion) and she is all most freakishly fit.  I may change my mind about this in the next few months but for now…….

Wil and I went to a restaurant tonight that I have been going to since high school.  I love East Village Grill and tell others to go.  The last three times we’ve been, the service has sucked and the food has made us feel icky.  Our waitress tonight brought us a pitcher of beer instead of a pint and wouldn’t take it back.  A $10 difference and then when I said I might as well drink the beer since we’re paying for it, I asked her to take away the tea and take it off the bill.  She did neither.  She wasn’t rude but obviously stressed out.  I wasn’t rude but obviously poor and I needed her to throw me a freakin bone.  So I did something I said that I would never do, I docked the tip for the tea leaving her only 8%.  Now, I know that she is a working girl and I have been a waitress and it ain’t easy but I felt like she did me wrong.  Those things were within her power to fix.

So on the way home the guilt struck.  Kharma is so going to get me for this…..I know.  I even circled the tea on the bill and put a frownie face.  I actually had to get my paint set out and make some angry sad art to make myself feel better.  Was it justfied the dock in tip or am I just like mean old men who just don’t get the working peeps? Discuss.

Today was the last day of the first semester with my students.  I will truly miss some of them.  Others, I couldn’t wait for the door to hit them in the ass.  At the end of one of the harder groups I had, one of the girls who was always good gave me a letter that read, "You don’t know how much I will miss you.  Your class was what I looked forward to in my day.  I learned so much and you made learning fun.  I will see you next year."  It totally made my week, heck, my month. It makes me feel guilty that I’m leaving next year.  Her letter was just what I needed to remind me why I do what I do

My friend Erin invited me to go to a free Yoga class with her this past Saturday.  I have been taking Yoga for a few months so I was amped to go see something different.  We get to the little studio and are waiting for the class before ours to leave.  Erin spots the wall o’ brochures and we start browsing.  Both of us rest our sights on this advertisment for a kind of yoga that teaches you how to have an orgasm without using your hands or another person.  The brochure said that by contracting muscles in the groin area and breathing and mentally preping yourself, you can get your o face on.  After meaningful glances, our class was ready so we went and did some non-orgasm yoga.  After the class, I started thinking about the o-class.  I have come to a conclusion that it is one big orgy where no one talks or touches.  I think it would be weird to be in a room with 15+ people all getting off at the same time.  If anyone tries this class or one similar…please correct me or tell me that I am dead on:  either way- I ain’t goin.