Amanda

So, I just got home from the new Hooka bar in Asheville and my dog, Sylus, was all acting funny when I came in the door. (By the way, found out my friend Sarah does not like the word poop and freaks out when people say it which is aweome…anyway, back to my dog) I come to realize (due to the wrappers on the floor) that he has managed to eat an entire candy bar that I accidently left in my shopping bags that are sitting on the couch from my "day o’ birthday cash" shopping spree.  He may be in serious trouble but I am just going to have to keep an eye on him.  This isn’t the first time he has gorged himself with chocolate because smart me  hid a present for Wil in my closet and Sylus got that candy and ate it too.  I heard chocolate is really bad for dogs and that it can kill them so I am really worried right now.  On top of that, I had the weirdest night last night.  My friends and I had game night and played this great game called Apples to Apples.  Well, my friend Sarah invited some of her work friends which is usually cool.  Not this time.  There ended up being a major fight between Sarah’s friends, Sarah, and Sarah’s husband.  It was so immature, I couldn’t even believe it.  The girls were apologizing to me because it was my after birthday party and I didn’t even know what to say because I have never been around people who fight with each other over stupid shit.   

So, now I am home by myself because Wil is at a youth lock in and I keep hearing shit.  It is totally wiggin me out.  Marcy, do you remember the time we were talking on the phone and I heard something drop up stairs in my house in Oteen and run across the floor so I had you call my neighbor and she totally came over and was like "I have a gun" which she didn’t and I went to her house.  That’s how I feel right now.  I have kids in my neighborhood that know me from school and I can see them totally fuckin with me which has made me go and put on my new shirt I bought today that has two people with a zoom camera on it with the words,"Neighborhood watch:  We’ll get you sucka’s"  Some how it makes me feel stronger.

I have, in the past, been skeptical of religion.  I always felt that spirituality was true but never religion.

I visited an old friend Saturday night and he talked with me about his relationship with a girl he plans to marry.  He just oozed with joy.  He talked of faith and God and I couldn’t help but listen. 

I will never believe that people who don’t believe what I believe are wrong.  I can only offer experiences I’ve had and what I know to be true.

I did morning prayer this morning.  Never before has this happened.  Usually, the only time I think of praying is at night, right before I go to bed but this mroning was different. 

My day went smoother because I wanted it to.  I had the words I said imprinted somewhere in my head.  It is truly comforting and satisfying to just know simple statements to be true.

"The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it."  John1:5

It reminds me of things I used to be, things I aspire to, and things I want to become.  My mind becomes a place of comfort instead of a place of confusion     anger        stubborness       grief       lonliness       self-doubt       It’s direction known.

Throughout my day, the morning ritual breathed on my neck, just slightly reminding me and delighting me.

Every time I started to forget, somehow I remembered.

Can every day feel like this?  Maybe if I do my mornng prayer.

This past weekend, Wil and I visited Sewanee Seminary in Tennessee.  It was so beautiful and peaceful and we’ve decided that if we have our choice of schools, we will be going there.  On sunday, we went to Chatanooga.  It was a very cool town with anything we could need on the weekends.  As I was walking down the street, it got chilly so I put on my coat that Wil gave me for my birthday.  My new coat is Mountain Hardware brand, bright green and a little fuzzy, almost muppet like and I had a red shirt on so I looked holiday happy and then I had a black skirt on from church.  I also put on some white sunglasses that I got for a $1 at a thrift store.  As I was putting on all this stuff, we passed this "harley davidson" chick who was laughing hysterically.  Her and her man were not talking before she started laughing.  As she passes me laughing, I think, "She’s not laughing at me is she?" and I turn around and sure enough, she is pointing at me and still laughing.  I was dumb founded and a little hurt.  Who does this?  I usually don’t care a whole lot about what other people think but when they are pointing and laughing, I can’t help but notice.  It made me want to turn around and say, "Hey you, Biker Babe, bring it with your tappered jeans, black shirt, and cigeratte encrusted teeth.."  I finally let it go one block later but it reminded me that people actually ARE that shallow. 

Well, besides that and the 5 hour drive back at 8pm until 1am with me having to go to work the next day, it was an awesome trip. 

I turn 27 tomorrow and I must say, it feels like a big birthday for me.  26 was nothin, I barely flinched but 27 just sounds so much more mature and older.  My mom was concieving my brother at this age (ewww) and it isn’t far from 30.

I just want to go shopping, figure out how to choose a concealer, and eat fried food which I can’t because I gave it up for lent.  I am looking forward to my new year and plan to be better then ever….green muppet jacket and all.